Passion and dreams

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there…to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson or help figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be but you lock eyes with them, you know that very moment that they will affect your life in some profound way. And sometimes things happen to you at the time that may seem horrible, painful and unfair, but in reflection you realize that without overcoming those obstacles you would never realize your potential, strength, will power or heart. Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of luck. Illness, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test limits of your soul. Without these small tests, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere safe and comfortable but dull and utterly pointless. The people you meet affect your life. The successes and downfalls that you experience can create whom you are, and the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact they are probably the most poignant and important ones. If someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart, forgive them because they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart. If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but also because they are teaching you to love and open your heart and eyes to little things. Make every day count. Appreciate everything that you possibly can, for you may never experience it again. Talk to people whom you have never talked to before, and actually listen. Let yourself fall in love, break free and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, no one else will believe in you. Create you own life and then go out and live it.

It's been a while...

I don't really know where to start. Or how to start. Do you ever feel that your life is at a stand still, but also moving a million miles an hour at the same time?

I hate that feeling. I hate being in ruts. I hate when I am not quick to adapt to change. I hate being left behind. I hate that certain commitments in my life cause me to say no to the things I actually want to do.

I feel distraught. I feel uneasy. I am trying to wrap my mind around why things happen the way they do. I am trying to understand the will of God.

Life is hard. Life is short. Life has a lot of ups and downs, twists and turns. Sometimes I just want the path of life to be smooth, easy, and enjoyable. Sometimes it is easy, pretty, and relaxing. Most of the time it is hard, taxing, and draining.

How am I suppose to handle life, my life? There are things I struggle with that I don't like sharing because I don't want others to see me weak.

Vulnerability is hard. Trusting is hard. Having faith is hard. It's just hard.

rising after a fall.

http://www.godvine.com/Christian-Athlete-Takes-a-Fall-But-Still-Wins-the-Race-378.html

Really remarkable video. Amazing that God picks us up after we fall.

Trust

Is it hard for you to trust?
Do you doubt?
Are you ever anxious about tomorrow?

My husband and I are in the midst of what it really means it trust God. It is so easy to sort of trust God, to put him on the shelf and go to him sparingly.

These past few months we have been challenged to really live out our faith, step into the unknown and run towards God 100%.

We are in the process of planting a church and our role is to grow student ministries and radically change the lives and hearts of students and help them find and follow Christ. The hard part is raising support financially to be able to do this. But for whatever reason, God has placed a peace in my heart that he will provide as long as we stay faithful and trust Him. It is not easy to trust, and sometimes I would rather worry. But worrying is exhausting so I figure I will let God take care of worrying about tomorrow so I can focus on today. If I continue to worry then God cannot use me to my full potential and radically change my heart and life. I would much rather have a life full of the richness of God than a rich bank account. In a month we may not be able to pay our bills, but Mark and I are apart of an incredible vision and journey here in Roselle and I would not trade that for anything. So here I am, here I stand, arms wide open. To the One, the Son, the Everlasting God.

Your father knows what you need before you ask him. So do not worry, saying 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Today's trouble is enough for today. (Matthew 6:8b, 31-34)

geese, frogs, and sunshine

I am sitting in our screened in porch with the windows open, and all I hear are frogs chirping, geese honking, and trying to soak up the sun that is shining through.

I am just in awe of the blessings God has poured on my life. I have a phenomenal husband and everyday I am at a loss for words the gratitude and appreciation I have for him.

God has blessed me with the love of animals, and also blessed me with a fantastic horse named Clementine, and a very active dog named Laeci.

I am loved by friends and family. I have a job, a roof over my head, and food in my tummy.

Do you ever feel like something is missing? I think we all feel that at some point in our lives... Whether our job isn't fulfilling, our marriage is empty, our family isn't enough, or you can't make ends meet... What do you do when you are running out of fuel? How do you feel when there is a disconnect in your life?

For me, when I start to feel like that in any area of my life...I know I need God. I know I need Him to scoop me up and hold me close to him.

Psalm 55:22
Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.

Give it to God. He will fulfill that missing piece. He will take the burden from you and carry it FOR you. I believe he reminds us of that in little ways like geese honking, frogs chirping, and letting us soak up the sun.

The Strength of a Horse

I miss feeling their hooves beat the ground to gain more momentum as we race across the field.

I miss feeling the freedom of no saddle on their back so I can feel the warmth of their fur.

I miss grabbing their mane as I urge them on to go faster.

I miss soaring over jumps.

I miss wearing white breeches and a show coat.

I miss hearing the announcer call my name to the ring.

I miss the feeling of success after a tough ride.

I long for that connection. I wonder when I will feel that again. My heart feels empty.

I have been given a gift. I have talent. I have knowledge. I have skills. And I can't use them, my injury won't let me.

I use to feel stronger after every ride. The connection you have with a horse when you are in sync with them in indescribable. There are no words to describe the blessing of that emotional connection with a horse. There are no words to describe the connection I have with God when I ride. I feel him all around me. He is in the wind, the dirt, the soft nickers the horses greet you with. He quiets my heart with my horse Clementine.

Oh how I miss riding. How I miss that connection. I miss the solitude with God.

I wonder when I will feel that again. I wonder when that missing piece of myself will be returned to me.

I wait.

patience

Definition for Patient: Capable, willing to endure

Synonyms: meek, mild, calm, composed, understanding, tranquil.

Antonyms: agitated, frustrated, impatient, intolerant, unwilling

What God says about patience:

Psalm 37:7
Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act.

Are you patient? Are you still? Do you wait for God? Or do you run ahead of Him, sometimes leaving Him behind?

Patience is the companion of wisdom.
~St. Augustine

Stop. Take a moment today sit in the gentleness of God's presence. In what area of your life is He trying to show you patience? In what area of your life are you being impatient?